The Last Supper

28 November 2021.

‘Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’ - Kate Moss

This quote caused a stir over a decade ago.

Palaver. Brouhaha. Much carry on.

The truth hurts.

It is Sunday and I am preparing the week's lunches for the last time. Rice, chicken, beans, and bok choy. The same meal, every day. Every week. For the last two years. Weighed, measured. The same. Every day.

I won’t miss this. It does not bother me, there is an indifference to the process. It is just a thing that needs to be done.

The fact is, I am a porky pig. Given the chance, I will eat and eat and I will not stop. I especially like savoury treats, but not as much as sweet treats, but not as much as chocolate. Cakes are my favourites, after Timtams. But pizza is what I love most of all, after a good burger with chips.

I lack portion control. I massacre a buffet to the point Shell is embarrassed. I eat food out of massive bowls. I am a little self conscious about going back for fourths. If Shell does not finish her food or pauses for a moment, I swoop like a seagull.

Bonus. I put on weight quickly. If I were a pig, they would be cloning me.

If everything is prepared, I forgo my piggy tendencies. This is what works for me. So here I am for the last time.

The last supper.

It is the Friday before.

I am heading into the staffroom with a colleague who has just finished a canteen purchased meal, which they do every day. We walk in, there on the table is a homemade cake.

These things appear now and again. Generosity, a gesture of kindness, they make the staff eat something they don’t want. It is late in the game, I am tired, hungry, and vulnerable. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

‘That is dangerous’ I announce to my colleague.

‘Not for you, surely?’

‘Absolutely’

I walk past and put my lunch in the microwave.

As I sit down, they cut a wedge. They push it into their mouth and say ‘I don’t know how you do it, where you find the willpower?'

The Last Supper, for now.

They are about to eat a second piece of cake. Look at me and say-

‘I really don’t know how you do it!’

You do. You have watched me do it every day, every week, and every month for the last five years.

“To keep the body in good health is a duty…otherwise we shall not be able to keep the mind strong and clear.” – Buddha